Clarity: Not all butterflies and puppy dogs

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They told me it could get rough. Really, really rough. Let me explain…

Most of my posts to date have been at times of contentment. Saturday morning, relaxing with a tea, enjoying the quiet.

Here I am now, mid week and feeling as though I’ve been bitch slapped by the universe. This slapping I speak of is what I believe to be clarity. I had listened to the warnings set out by my meditation/Reiki teacher and holistic advisor that with this work brings great discomfort and pain. Well, at this moment, I am in that portion. In their defense, I asked for it.

The clarity I am feeling is not the same type I experienced a few weeks ago, connected to the universe, glorious “aha” moments and seeing rainbows every which way. This clarity is of my life and the way I have lived it for 33 years. Blindly going about my day, not speaking my truth (or even knowing my truth to begin with) and consuming every substance I could get my hands on only to push down further what I strived to ignore, myself.

With this pain, I realize their is great opportunity. I am seeing the errors of my ways and with that there is enormous learning. I can spin this now, finding answers to connect my inner needs with my outer life. What do I really want? What do I really need? What inspires me? What brings me joy? Finding these answers are now not only attainable, but inevitable.

And to think, this all began on a fluke, two years ago, when I casually dropped in to a meditation class …

Ya don’t know what ya don’t know until ya know,

TUM

p.s. There are no flukes.