Clarity: Not all butterflies and puppy dogs


They told me it could get rough. Really, really rough. Let me explain…

Most of my posts to date have been at times of contentment. Saturday morning, relaxing with a tea, enjoying the quiet.

Here I am now, mid week and feeling as though I’ve been bitch slapped by the universe. This slapping I speak of is what I believe to be clarity. I had listened to the warnings set out by my meditation/Reiki teacher and holistic advisor that with this work brings great discomfort and pain. Well, at this moment, I am in that portion. In their defense, I asked for it.

The clarity I am feeling is not the same type I experienced a few weeks ago, connected to the universe, glorious “aha” moments and seeing rainbows every which way. This clarity is of my life and the way I have lived it for 33 years. Blindly going about my day, not speaking my truth (or even knowing my truth to begin with) and consuming every substance I could get my hands on only to push down further what I strived to ignore, myself.

With this pain, I realize their is great opportunity. I am seeing the errors of my ways and with that there is enormous learning. I can spin this now, finding answers to connect my inner needs with my outer life. What do I really want? What do I really need? What inspires me? What brings me joy? Finding these answers are now not only attainable, but inevitable.

And to think, this all began on a fluke, two years ago, when I casually dropped in to a meditation class …

Ya don’t know what ya don’t know until ya know,


p.s. There are no flukes.