“Breathe. Process. Take Action.” -Paul Lara (Reiki/Meditation teacher at QiBelly)
Over the past few blog posts, I have touched upon the nitty gritty of meditation and energy work. The struggles that come with it. The break downs. The pain. As I sit here writing, struck with anxiety, I reflect on my teacher’s words. After telling him my current struggles, I received the same wisdom he has preached for years. “Everything happens for a reason.” -Paul Lara (Reiki/Meditation teacher at QiBelly)
This past Thursday, I was unpleasantly surprised at work by my first, real, panic attack. It came out of nowhere and it became a whole office affair. I was terrified. I did not now what was happening at the time and thought I had been drugged and was having a really bad trip. Luckily, a close coworker of mine had experience with such events and knew how to help, and she did just that.
Today, 3 days after the main event, as I sit here writing I am still feeling quite uneasy. Everything about these last few days has been a challenge, from small typically “easy” tasks to being in crowds. The fear of “maybe this is just me and I have been covering it up all these years” has loomed like a dark stormy cloud.
But just as the later fear creeps in, something else tells me “No! This is not how it’s going to be. This is not you. This is a message.” With this my thoughts shift from fear to intrigue. “What is my body trying to say?” It’s no longer talking to me now, it’s screaming so loud I must listen in order to go on, to go to work, to socialize, to laugh and joke. This in turn brings gratitude. This pain is not for nothing. It’s a message to help me grow, better yet, flourish.
Without meditation and energy work, I would not have been blessed by this awfully fortunate event. The walls that took 33 years to build had to fall in order for me to experience this. I’m not sure what the next few weeks will bring, but I can assure you I will be taking it slow, I will be treading light and I will be listening.
Life is like a box of chocolates,