Throughout my years, the expression “just let it go” has really bothered me as the how has never followed that statement. I realize though, like me, those slurring the words may not have known themselves, or, perhaps I was not willing to listen.
Letting go is necessary when an item, person or situation no longer serves us. We hold on to such factors for many reasons, however, I believe being stuck in the past wins the #1 spot. The movies we play in our heads, on repeat, remind us of this factor in its hay day, when things were good and it did its job for us. Meanwhile, in reality, things have changed, yet we have not changed with it.
For example, your prized possession vintage car from your younger years sits in your garage. When looking at it, you’re reminded of the wind through your hair, music on blast and your current love, ripe with beauty, sitting by your side. The bright red paint gleams in the sun as you roll along without a care in the world. These memories are priceless, and should be held as such, however…
The bright red paint has now turned to rust orange. After years of non use, the engine has failed and the interior has tarnished. It has sat in your garage for years, serving only as a placeholder of the past. Your family vehicle sits outside in the driveway. It’s able to safely cart your young ones around and for that you are grateful. You are very happy with its purchase as it has proven reliable and great on gas, both of which are necessities for your current condition.
Your vintage car has been a source of great animosity between you and your partner. Unaware of the movies you have on repeat, they can’t imagine why you strive so hard to hold on to what they believe to be “an old piece of junk”. It has not only caused a tear in your relationship, but it has also forced your family vehicle to be left outside to the elements. Your vintage car placeholder not only creates disturbances, but its presence does not allow room for your family car’s safety.
With the above example in mind, picture what it is you would like to let go of. What are the movies you play in your head about it, him or her? Realizing the movies are no longer your reality, imagine it, him or her currently in the room with you. What are the sensations your feel in your body? What is true for you now? Does its presence cause anxiety as you know you must be able to afford a house with a garage as storage? Do you fear one of your young ones might cut themselves on the rusty exterior? Do you resent your partner for not understanding its past importance? Keeping in mind no one is forcing you to change anything, write an honest list of your current truths. You might be surprised.
Be kind, don’t rewind.
p.s. Letting go is in no way easy. No need to rush. Start with the list and see where it leads.